Sitting at work... and thinking

So, I'm sitting at work and just chilling right now. It's lunch time. The sun is shining in my window by my desk really brightly. While Ketchikan is a cloudy town, and the sun is nice to see, because of where I sit in the office, it hurts my eyes. I would honestly be okay with a cloudy day, or a little less sun. It makes my desk hot, and since there isn't much air circulation in here, it gets old, fast!

Anyways, I'm getting a little sick. Stuffy nose, congested and all. I can do without that. 

I'm still using the patches on my shoulder to get over my habit, and it's giving me some crazy side affects. I dream REALLY REALLY intensely.

Last night I dreamed that I was buying a house. Then I dreamed that I was taking Lillie and Hayden home from the airport, but we had to walk along the runway that was in the middle of a field when some guy stole my laptop and I got in a fight with him. I'm waking up every two hours. It's like I wake up at the end of a movie and go back to sleep to start the next one. Last night, I dreamed that I left hayden outside while I was stuck in an elevator for 2 hours throwing a party. When I got out of the elevator, he was standing in the rain looking around like he was lost and crying. I got out of bed and laid down next to him in his. I held him and hugged him almost 30 minutes. I felt like a bad dad, even though I know it was just a dream. That kind of thing is hard for me to deal with. I love my kids immensely, and the thought of doing something that would intentionally or willfully hurt them just tears me up.

5 years ago, I couldn't have cared less, but now, I know the pain that being a parent can bring. BUT, I know the joys as well. Honestly, I like the joy side better.

I took hayden and lillie to hayden's school last night. He performed in a christmas show. He sang three songs with his class. I smiled the whole time. He's a good kid. I hope I'm being nice enough to him.

So, Andrea and I contended warmly last night about me "assuming that I knew what she was thinking". While I still maintain that I was RIGHT... I have decided to open it up a little and give her a taste of what she's asking for. I figure, if she wants to know what I'm thinking, then I'll let her know. She should be able to figure out what I mean by that on her own. But she wanted it, so she'll get it.

We transfer out of this town in a few months. I know that I submitted my dream sheet a few weeks back, but I haven't heard from the detailer yet. I still don't know where we're going to be headed yet. I hope he contacts me soon. I really want off this rock and to go somewhere new. I think that my time here is starting to get to me. I find myself caring less and less about my job and I'm ready to just leave.

Soon Garen.... Soon!

So, those are my current thoughts.

Journals

I'm gonna write a journal.

Nothing big. Just a place to keep the thoughts that I don't want to put in public view.

No one will see it but me. 

Maybe my kids when I'm dead. 

Maybe my wife cause I love her.

Maybe the cat that my wife wants to buy as it sits on the couch behind me.

Just thought the world should know.

I'm writing something.... and YYyyoOOooOUUuuUUUuuu..... can't see it.

A Rock and a Hard Place

Do you ever feel stuck, kinda like you're between that often told rock and a hard place? I've found myself in what appears to be a false dilemma... a situation where there appears to be only two choices, but in reality there's probibly more than that. Yet here I sit, feeling like I have two choices, and no matter which I choose, I'll hate myself for that choice. Not choosing either isn't an option. It really is one or the other... but the outcome of the choice depends on my attitude, or so says Garen... but Garen hasn't had to make this choice... at least, not the same way I have to. I'm pretty sure he made a similar choice in his late teens actually... and has been battling back and forth with it ever since.

Me? I'm pretty firm on the decisions I make. Once I decide something for myself, I generally stick to it... unless its an emotional choice, that changes every three minutes or so. Is this choice I have now in front of me one of emotion? Not really, but it is fueled by it. I've spent nearly ten years trying to make a choice, and really, I've made no more progress than when I started. Choosing one side really doesn't harm me one way or another. It would even thrill Garen if I chose it. He doesn't care the reasons, he just wants results. That bugs me, too.

The other side of the choice is a little more complicated. If I choose it, it still doesn't hurt me really. I retain every bit of me I am now. (Thats not to say I really lose any of me the other way, just, ya know, rubs against the grains). But I could instantly cause a lot of strife, heartache and trouble for myself and my family... so when you say it that way, it seems the choice would be easy... but it isn't.

One way leads me to feel false, to be resentful of others, and possibly even bitter... maybe even a liar in the really really long run... the other? Well, its selfish really. I want to be me, but I also don't want to be alone. I will be alone if I choose this path.

No one in the world can tell me the right choice. I'm actually quite angry that I have to make it at all. Garen doesn't see the dilemma in the choice... one he's held in front of me for years, but feels he has not presented. I don't blame Garen for this situation I'm in. In fact, really, it is my fault. I've done this to myself. I'm not much for lying, I don't like feeling fake... but it is that very action that has lead me here now. I knew it would then, but I was too young and too stubborn to see the errors I was making.

And now? Well....  it could be worse. It is not the end of all... I will not die, Garen will not leave me either way (at least, I don't think he will) My children don't get a choice (yet) and really... its not as big of a disaster as I feel like it is.

So why do I feel that way?

I haven't the slightest clue. All I know is that I don't like having to choose A or B, especially when, in my mind, both options equally suck. I've tried listing pros and cons. Marking the ones most important to me with a star (A trick I learned from Ryan and Rhonda when Garen and I started talking marriage), but the list comes out even on both sides.

At what point do I throw it all out the window and dive in to one side or the other without rhyme or reason? I don't know if I can. The choice would require a lot of change... some of it I don't want to give up, some of it, I don't care.

Welcome to the endless debate that is my life.

I'm sorry to throw this out there so blindly for all to see. Really, I am. Making these sorts of choices has never come easily for me. I don't even know what I want. I'm angry at Garen for knowing for himself and choosing it, even if it meant leaving me behind. I suppose thats the right thing to do. It feels like betrayal, it feels like being abandoned, but I'm not so dense as to not realize that any other normal person would have likely made that choice, too.

Just because I'm not strong enough to make it, doesn't mean its wrong.

I already feel a little bit better about writing this down. I don't talk to ANYBODY about this stuff because for those who know me... and I mean, REALLY know me, will simply tell me the choice that is the easier way out... for now. They'd tell me to do excatly what Garen did, be selfish. It's too much change, it's not who I am, it's not what I want for myself, and it would be a wedge in my marriage. A nice, big fat wedge. I'm not into the ideas of destroying my own family.

I'm a facts and statistics kinda girl. I need proof. I need answers... and unfortunately, I have none. I don't know how people do this... how they follow so... for lack of a better word... blindly. Garen of course tells me he isn't blind... it's faith, and its easy.

No, it really isn't.

I've been down this road 100 times before. I'm talked myself raw over it. I've cried real gut wrenching tears over it. I cannot be false. I cannot be blind... but I cannot be alone, either. I'm already kinda alone anyways... The only member of 1 half of my family who does not walk the same line. It feels... lonely... but on the other hand... I don't feel like a lemming either... which I have, regrettibly, compared Garen to in the past. Up until now, he didn't know what he wanted either. I wanted him to choose a side. I wanted him to stick to it. Thus far, this is what he's choosen... and well... it wasn't what I hoped for. It wasn't the EASY way.

Again, that doesn't make it wrong.

Sigh. I'm getting no where really fast. I'm going to have to do some REAL research. I need ANSWERS and I need them now. I probibly wont find anything I don't already know. After all, it is faith... there aren't supposed to be answers. But I can't float about any longer simply inbetween the lines... its my turn to choose a side...

which side will it be?

There I Go Again!

Neglecting the blog that keeps my friends and family updated! Sorry about that but the Altoholics Blog keeps me pretty busy. So, let's do a re-cap, shall we?

Since my massive toothache, I got more pain meds, and survived for the antibiotic to take effect. Now I have to wait to have it pulled. It'll be a little while, but so far, I am surviving. After that Garen had a nice cool two weeks off, for a video game actually! You can read about our Midnight Release Adventure Here.

Then, Garen set out doing what he took time off work to do... leveling his toons in this game. He dragged me along too. Which is fine. I always enjoy playing. I, however, still had school work and such to tend to, so I didn't get as involved as he did. 

Last weekend we put up our Christmas tree. Why so early? because we are having 12 (Yes, I said 12) people over for dinner for Thanksgiving, and wanted to have the tree up before then. Last night we took Hayden to see Bolt. It was an adorable movie that I think he really enjoyed.

So that brings us to now. Somewhere in all of that Ive been making Christmas presents (yeah, making!) which is so not my thing. So if you get crap presents from me, remember I made them so you HAVE to love them! Ha ha well no, I guess you don't, but you SHOULD!

Other then all that, we're just preparing for the Turkey day. Pies need baked, Deep Fryer needs cleaned out... it's gonna be some good eats! I'll update more often, I hope. Until next time!

Much Love

Andrea

That warm fuzzy feeling.... no, it's not bunny slippers

I plan on hitting the temple soon. Only two more things in life that need sorted out. I don't plan on talking about them right now, but, I'm just making this statement where someone, anyone, the world at large, can see it.

It's been a few years too many since I've been. 

I'm going to go.

Just have to do a couple more things.

Don't tell anyone, but I'm excited. I'm determined. And come hell or high water, I'm going to pull this off.

IDIOTS! All of them. Total IDIOTS!

Okay, I am very angry at something that I shouldn't be angry about. But I am. And the fact that I am angry about what I'm angry about, really says I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

Okay, here it goes.

CHURCH! 

Not mine, but the whole evangelical reich. Now, I know a lot of good Christians, don't get me wrong. But there are a few that I just want to strangle. Not a very Christlike statement, no is it? Now, let me tell you why.

Garen: I am so glad that Jesus Christ is my savior.

Tom: You know you are going to hell, right?

Garen: Why? I have taken Jesus as my savior. 

Tom: No, you took another jesus as your savior. The "Mormon Jesus".

Garen: What? No, I believe in the Jesus of the bible.

Tom: No you don't. You're going to hell.

WHAT THE HELL!

The whole concept of the creedal trinity, the "other jesus" argument, and the "other gospel" argument is making me SO mad today. And honestly, I don't know why it hit a nerve like it did.

The whole argument of "The word is god, Jesus is the word... but your jesus is the brother of satan and heathen offspring of heavenly parents... so youre going to hell." is really irking me.

Who are they, that they have the right, the gall, or the irritating sense of superiority that they have any sort of right to tell me what I do or do not believe?  Honestly?

I mean, I can turn this around to say that since they believe on "once saved, always saved, all grace, no works, salvation" that they are heretics and should be shunned, but I'm not that kind of a person.

But the whole idea of picking on me because you just "don't like mormons".... c'mon. Where do they get off.

If they want to label me as a heathen just because I don't subscribe to" Christianity © Inc.", then fine. I'm happy being a "Mormon", following the "Mormon God", and being an outcast just because I know it's right.

Christianity? Great idea!

Christianity © inc.? You can have it.

Dress right, Dress

So, it's thursday night. I'm kinda tired, but still very nervous. Why you ask?

Tomorrow morning at 8am, I am conducting my first uniform inspection at work.

I've been involved in many inspections, thats not a big deal. Cut my hair, iron my shirt. Suck in my gut. Etc. Receive a passing grade.

But, I'm running this one. That scares me.

I need to complete the inspection so that I can get a qual signed off. I want to make E-7 and this is a required step.

So, tomorrow morning, I'm going to the office, shiny uniform in hand, fancy shoes in my other hand, and I get to inspect the troops. 

There are 13 people in my shop, and I get to inspect while my CWO (The shop supervisor) gets to take notes for me. I personally think he is doing this so he doesn't have to be inspected. ;)

But regardless, I am going to be issuing a little bit of close order drill, asking a few questions, nitpicking peoples uniforms, and all the usual stuff that comes with this.

Here is the lame part though. 

I'm scared!

Why? I have no idea. It's not like this is going to be hard. I'm guessing that it's just my first one, and that is why I'm scared. It's not like I can really fail at this. I look at peoples uniforms. I make sure their belt and gig line is good. So, if this is SO simple, why am I SO scared?

I have checked my own uniform 6 times today. I was clipping threads, I ironed it twice. I keep adjusting my nametag. I check my ribbons relentlessly.

I even tried on my pants. This was a suprise in it's own right. THEY FIT ME GOOD!

What the deuce? How DARE they fit me good?

Either way, with that in mind, I get to do this tomorrow. Just a mere 14 hours away from this writing. 

I should make them do it outside.  >.<

My head hurts

It seems to me that more often lately, posts on the internet and posts on our blogs coming from my wife and I have had to do with discomfort.

Specifically... PAIN.

I'm sitting here right now waiting for something, but while I sit here and wait, I realize that my head hurts. It hurts really bad.

I figured I just needed more water. So I drank some. Now I have to pee.

Maybe I haven't had enough caffiene and I was suffering withdrawls. So I had some. Now I'm awake.

Maybe I needed to get some air. So I went outside. Now I'm cold.

Maybe I need some tylenol. So I took some. Now I have pills sitting in my stomach hanging out with the Chili-dogs I had for lunch.

Let's see...

Headache? CHECK!

Gotta pee? CHECK!

Cold?      CHECK!

Yeah, I'm doing a LOT better now.   >.<

Anyways, the point is we seem to have a lot of stupid little ailments as of late. And I would like for them to go away. I don't think that it will happen, but who knows.

Anyways, thats my complaint. Take it or leave it.

OH, and ANDREA! You might be interested in THIS LINK.

Ouchie

I'm hurting. I feel like such a baby admitting it. I usually can take pain in stride. I don't complain too much and more often than not I wont go to see a doctor unless Garen forces me too. It's a bad habit really, but pain just doesn't get to me that much. However, I developed a tooth ache last Wednesday that on Thursday turned into a massive swelling of my lower right jaw. I ended up having to go to the ER on Garen's birthday. Thankfully, it was a short visit that resulted in Penecilin for the infection and enough vicodin to last me the weekend. I took my pills carefully and hoped by the time I ran out of painkillers, the penecilin would have fought off the infection enough to stop the mass amounts of pain.

I was wrong.

Now it's Monday, and the swelling is gone but the pain is not. I've been taking over the counter pain killers but its not helping much at all. I feel like crying and rather helpless. I need to have the tooth pulled but I can't until the oral surgeon comes to visit again, which should be late Decemeber/early January. I don't know if I'll make it that long.

So here I am, crying to the interwebs because it hurts bad enough that I feel utterly helpless. Obviously this doesn't help the pain to go away, but it gives me something to do. So there ya have it, and I guess I'll be off to try to distract myself elsewhere. Until next time,

Andrea

Respect my author-a-tah

So I was talking to some friends on a forum a few weeks back and we got to talking about the priesthood lines of authority. It came up as to weather they were needed or not and who each had in theirs.

Well, I made the comment that I didn't know mine. So, after getting some basic info, I sent a letter to the church records department.

One stamp and envelope later (Plus 10 days of waiting), mine showed up in the mail last night. I was pretty excited.

I know have an official paper copy of my Priesthood Line of Authority. 

To those who don't know what it's about, it tells me exactly how I got my ordination into the priesthood.

Well, I obviously received mine from my dad. That was cool in it's own right. But, what about before then?

Well, Dad got it from Grant Harris. That was someone that was above Dad apparently. 

But before that was a line of apostles and prophets before it hit Joseph Smith, who got it from Peter, James and John, who got it from Christ himself.

HOW FREAKING COOL IS THAT!

I'm 9 ordinations seperated from receiving the Priesthood from Jesus Christ!

Again, this is a church thing so those on the outside don't uderstand the signicance of this, but to those in the know... It's pretty awesome.

I was excited to receive it.

Shaken Faith

Well, the title would suggest that I was strong in my faith in the first place. I never really was. It is no secret in my home that I have always struggled with odds and ends over our LDS religion. I wasn't born into this church. I was born into a sort of "C and E" home. My parents were Lutheran, but only attended for the two major holidays. They were smokers, they were drinkers, but this did not lead to my inability to grasp faith.

Personally, I think a belief in God is something I must have. It just feels wrong not to. I cannot explain it. And also, don't get me wrong, I am not posting here to bash upon my own church. There are things I struggle with in the LDS faith, but the members of this church lead lives in which they strive to live healthy chartiable lives. I support that and I encourage it. I am even a little bit envious. So why can't I grasp this faith that my husband seems to display so well?

I struggle with the idea that religion is the end all. I can't seem to grasp the greater idea of a heaven and a hell. I do believe that the stories in both the Book of Mormon and the Bible likely really did happen, but I also tend to lean towards the idea that the stories have been embellished quite a bit.

In my own church, I struggle with the set morals and ideas that are presented to me. I never minded giving to a collection plate, you gave what you could when you could... but I have struggled with the idea of tithing. A set amount paid every month, and if you don't pay it honestly, you lose certain abilities within the church. I am not trying to offend here, but I cannot shake the feeling of "member dues". Like I would be paying to be part of a club. I have prayed about this issue before, but I still feel uneasy about it. For us, this is no small amount of money. An honest tithe for us is over 400 dollars a month.

Also in my concerns lie things that have to do with temples. Mostly, I have no desire to wear the garments, which I would need to do once I became endowed. This is a vanity issue with is odd, considering that I am not very vain at all, but Garen has shown quite the..... appreciation for the underwear I choose to wear now, and I don't think I'd feel very comfortable (or sexy) in the garments. A lame reason, I know, but a concern all the same.

Finally, I do love that the LDS church pushes healthy lives. No smoking, No drinking, and the like. No arguements out of me there... but the recent ongoings with the Proposition 8 issue has me feeling a little reserved. I am not gay, nor do I know anyone who is. However, it just feels wrong to me to force an idea of "God said marriage is between a Man and a Woman ONLY" when this is supposed to be a nation of religious freedom. Adding a religious context to this law makes me feel like we are forcing God on those who may not believe in it, and that just doesn't seem fair. Obviously, the LDS church itself did not go about proclaiming the evils of this notion, but it did ask for it's members to, and boy did they ever respond. Nearly a full half of the campaign money for the issue was provided by members of our church, donated privately by them, though.

Overall I try not to be a hyprocrite. Garen's actions over the years have throughly frusterated me, since he has gone full swing from downright cheating on me, smoking and various other sins to cleaning up his act and going head on into church beliefs. However he has made this change in behavior more then once or twice and I'm getting tired trying to keep up with it. He says he has choosen his church once and for all and I don't intend to discourage that. If he can stick to it then prehaps I can better focus on it myself too. I understand we all have sins and his sins are different then mine, but the sheer hypocrocy was driving me insane. I'm thrilled that its overwith now.

Anyways, I feel better having said what bothers me. The LDS church is full of brilliant wonderful people, and I do want to emulate them, and be happy in it as they are. I am working on these issues, and they are hard to admit, but now that I have I hope I can better make my way down this very difficult path.

A Perfect Score!

One class, down. Still waiting on the results of the other one!

Presentation Grading Form for Final Project: Business Presentation, Due in Week Nine

 

Content / Development  200 points	Points Earned 200/200	Additional Comments:
All key elements of the assignment are covered in a substantive way. ·         The presentation consists of 8 to 10 slides, with speaker notes for each slide, appropriate for the speaker’s audience.		An excellent presentation.  You combine an attractive graphic with clear content and effective use of Notes section.
The content is comprehensive, accurate, and persuasive. ·         The presentation includes visual aids and utilizes elegant graphics. ·         The text is limited to approximately five lines and approximately five words per bulleted item. ·         The appropriate use of font sizes is incorporated.
The presentation develops a central theme or idea, directed toward the appropriate audience.
Major points are stated clearly; are supported by specific details, examples, or analysis; and are organized logically.
The introduction provides sufficient background on the topic and previews major points.
The conclusion is logical and reviews the major points.
Readability and Style  25 Points	Points Earned 25/25	Additional Comments:
Slide transitions are logical and maintain the flow throughout the presentation.
The tone is appropriate to the content and assignment.
Sentences are clear and concise.
Mechanics 25 points	Points Earned 25/25	Additional Comments:
Citations of original works within the body of the presentation follow Axia style guidelines.
The presentation is laid out with effective use of headings, font styles, and white space.
Rules of grammar, usage, and punctuation are followed.
Spelling is correct.
Total 250 Points	Points Earned 250/250	Overall Comments:

 

 

 

Making Changes

There have been so many things going on, and it's getting hard to keep my cool with them all. The first and most obvious change is after growing out my hair for the last three years, Garen finally talked me into cutting it all off. So bam, just like that, 8 1/2 inches of hair are gone. Take a look for yourself. Along with these changes, Garen has taken a steadfast hold into his church practices today, which in all honesty I do encourage. I simply cannot help feeling skeptical in his abilities to stick to what he says he wants to do. He gives me a lot of talk about how faith preceeds the miricle, but again, I just don't have a lot of trust left in me. 

As for our marriage? Well... theres been a lot of disconsorting stuff. A lot of things I have to give some thought to... and a lot of newfound honesty being passed around. We are communicating better then we ever did before, and I appreciate knowing... I really do... I just need to reflect on what is being said better. Garen is not so great at saying the right thing on a whim ;)

Then there is the question of comprimise. I believe fully in self sacrafice for a person you love. I am willing personally to give up any aspect of my life Garen asks me to, and try my best to fit myself into the life he dreams for us. However, upon some questioning out of me, he so far doesn't realize what he's asking of me. He believes I should know that his way is the healiest and best choice for me, but neglects to understand that while that may or may not be true, it isn't what I dreamed for myself. I am willing to change what he's asked, and will do so with minimal complaint, but he shows no compassion for it. In fact, after making efforts today, he mentioned how they weren't good enough on the car ride home. I guess I will try harder.

Additionally, Garen shows no ability to make an emotional choice. His answers show he is not willing to make a sacrafice for me, if it means giving up something himself. It kinda hurt to hear those answers, but I guess I knew better then to ask. He said something today at breakfast that I'm sure he hadn't thought through, but it hurt all the same. He told me that if I didn't want to work for an eternal marriage, then he could *easily* find another woman he could love JUST AS MUCH and have eternity with her. I had made the mistake of asking why he wouldn't take 60 years with me rather then none. The statement hurt so much that I fought tears in the resturant. He quickly apologized for what he said, but it still left a bit of a cut. This seems to happen a lot. I'll let him tell about the thoughts and dreams he's had recently.

Outside of the subject of the love of my life though (whom I'd always love, despite the lack of common sense) I have two new classes coming up for my college courses. Critical Thinking and Business Communications and Research for the IT Professional. That last one is a mouthful huh? I'm excited to be moving forward in my college career. As soon as I know how well I did on the last two courses I will share my scores. However, I am confident with my final projects and feel they will yield me good scores.

Finally, I seem to have done that thing again where I take on too many projects at a time. Lots of quilts and crap to be made. I hope I get it done before Christmas. I got Garen Rock Band for his birthday. 28 years young in just a few more days. I'm so proud of him for all he's achieved and I look forward to our futures together, no matter how disagreeable they may be. Well until next time.....

Andrea

Halloween is by far my NOT favorite holiday.

I don't know why, but I have always felt like halloween was kinda like teaching my kids to beg for handouts.

I know that since I was about 13 years old, I have had a hard time with the whole concept of "trick or treat". Why should someone have to give me candy just because I have the balls to put a mask on my head and stand at their door? That stuff costs money! A LOT OF MONEY!

Screw that noise.

I understand where halloween comes from, and all the crap associated with it, but seriously, I don't like this holiday. The parties tacked on to it are lame, with the same stupid cake walks and fishing over a bed sheet. throw the bean bags into the pumpkin shaped peice of plywood, and all that jazz. 

If I could skip halloween, I would. In fact, I did one year. I put up my christmas lights on october 25th. Two months before christmas. I loved that holiday season.

Anyways, this is my gripe, I don't like halloween. You can keep it. Just be sure to send the sweet-tart jellybeans to my house. I LOVE those things.

Oh yeah, also, I HATE candy corn. The stuff is CRAP!

Scripture moments

So, I don't always have the mushy thoughts that my wife does. And I have a little more focus than my kids. But tonight, I'm planning on talking about something interesting I picked up on earlier.

I was sitting on the couch reading the scriptures, and while I was in the book of Mosiah, I was reading about Abinidi. That guy was cool. Most everyone has seen the picture of him chained up in front of King Noah with the jaguars and the grapes and the evil priests, but, tonight while I was reading it, I picked up on a couple of little insights and tidbits that I hadn't seen in the past.

First: I knew that Abinidi came to the people and was run off. That was kinda  mean thing for the Lamanites to do. But, at this time, Noah has put a bounty out on Abinidi's head. I was always under the impression that Abinidi came back reletively soon. I was wrong. It was a space of about two years before he came back to the city. There was plenty of time for Noah to cool off and plenty of time for people to forget about the bounty on Abinidi's head.

Second: I have read this story a few times, but I hadn't really paid very close attention to it. Either way, I knew that Abinidi had preached something to Noah and the priests, but I never paid much attention to what. It was the Ten Commandments. Go figure. That's what I get for not paying attention.

Anyways, I thought that was cool.

About this time, while the priests are getting ready to haul Abinidi off and he stops them with threats of a smiting, this is where the Arnold freeburg picture with the jaguars hits my head. I thought that the picture was kinda nice and it DOES fit the story quite nicely.

Anyways, that was my journey in the book of Mosiah tonight. I know most people probably don't care, but it entertained me and I got a kick out of it.

Anyways, lets see, what else is going on...

Uhm, Hayden refusues to sleep. He just whines about not wanting to sleep each night. But, then, 9.7 minutes later, he's passed out. But that 9.7 minutes really sucks.

Oh yeah, I'm trying to get an up to date temple reccomend. I know of one or two people that aren't big fan(s) of the idea. But, thats between me that the person(s) in question. Either way, I'm looking at making a trip to the temple in the near future. I'm thinking of hitting the Seattle temple. So far, it's my favorite.

Wife: If you are reading this, the offer for you to come with me is still on the table. ::rose::.

And now, just because I can't have a post with out some sort of non-sensical gibberish.

I LIKE SOUP!

Broken Bottles and Bedroom Sets

So a little over a month ago Garen and I purchased a new bedroom set from our local furniture store. After quite a few screwups on the store's part, what should have taken a week took 4. However, the furniture finally got here and the delivery boys took a good two hours to get it in the house and put together, but not without putting an extra hole in the headboard. Annoying, but not something to throw a fit over.

Somewhere in the last week Garen and I saw a new show called Time Warp where they slow down cool looking stuff and show you how it happens. In one particular episode, they broke a beer bottle by slapping the top with their bare hands. Garen thought he'd be cool and tried to do this with a lidded apple juice. He was disappointed when nothing happened and went in the house. I picked up the bottle and took it inside. Hayden decided he wanted some so he handed Garen the bottle, and once he unscrewed the lid, the bottom fell out like it should have.... spilling apple juice all over my carpet. I was laughing so hard I cried, but Garen looked more sad then amused.

Otherwise, I've been working on some no sew blankets for the Blankets of Belief drive. On top of that, my dad has asked for a green and gold scarf and a Green Bay Packer Quilt for Christmas. We'll see what I can get done before then. I've been so busy with school projects that I haven't really had time for much of anything else.

Speaking of, I should be working on those

Slacking

Yup. I admit it, I've been a slacker. Its not that I've been really all that busy elsewhere, just distracted, and tired. So here's whats new in Andrea-Land.

I've lost three more pounds, bringing me down 40 total. Im thrilled about it really. On top of that, I ordered a corset for "fun" of the website www.hipsandcurves.com and bought what I thought was gonna be a good fit. Turns out its one size too big! That made me smile. 

On Saturday we got to go down to the pier downtown here and welcome in the USCGC Healy. Its a giant ass icebreaker out of Seattle. And don't worry, there's no OPSEC for this one, I asked the guys on the ship before I said anything. We took pictures and stood out in the rain for a few hours. I'll have to upload them later, they're on my hubby's iPhone. We were also there though because Garen needed to be, he was the responding IT for his ESD. Always fun to be on duty.

Sunday (today) was my 6th wedding anniversary. I decided I didn't want anything as we've spent enough money recently. However, Garen still took me out to dinner at Ocean View where I had some meh angel hair pasta in a garlic butter sauce and shrimp. They also brought me the wrong kind of ice cream, but I was just glad to have some quiet time without the kids. After dinner we went to see Eagle Eye. I enjoyed it, but then again, I'm a terrible film critic.

Somewhere along the weekend we picked up new shoes for both the kiddos and some new coats as it is starting to get really cold outside. We also stopped by the furniture store to find out why the hell our bedroom set we ordered 4 weeks ago isn't here yet. Turns out they forgot to order the bed itself or some noise like that, and it'd be at least another week. Garen demanded compensation in the form of some lamps, they gave him pillows instead.

Finally, this past week Garen keeps stealing my sewing machine, which is really deturing me from actually finishing the projects I start. So... he picked me up a newer, and better, sewing machine. Its yet another thing I never thought I'd be excited about but I was. It's still a Brother brand, but this one has all kinds of special features including some decorative stitches and the ability to support a free motion foot. It should make my quilting projects much more fun. 

Well it's getting late here, so Im gonna be off, but before i do...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY GAREN! I have loved every moment with you and look forward to our future!

Emergency Preparedness

Well, I have this rushes where I like to go on kicks for stuff. Like cleaning the house, or getting SUPER religious instead of just regular religious. Or food stoarge, or other cool stuff that I don't work on at a regular basis. 

Anyways, I recently got caught up in a Conspiracy thing that got my blood pressure up and while I was at it, it sparked my urge to have my family ready for anything that could come our way.

So, tied in to my wanting to get Family Home Evening (FHE) back on schedule, I plan on doing something fun for the next one that we do.

72 HOUR KITS!

Okay, so here is what I'm doing.

there are 4 people in my family and one car. I know that the car isn't a person, but having one in the car is always smart. That means I'm putting together 5 kits.

Each one will consist of the following:

• A 5 gallon bucket (Possibly 3 gallon, who knows)
• Water for three days.
• Non-perishable staple food for three days. This will proably consist of 9 dried meals. Not quite sure how I'm gonna pull that one off, but I will!
• Snacks for said time period.
• A simple first aid kit.
• A flashlight.
• A change of clothes.
• 
  

Anyways, there will be a kit for each person and a big kit for the family. This will have things like this:

• Consecrated oil.
• Matches.
• Tinder for a fire.
• Utensils.
• Toilet Paper (Everyone ALWAYS forgets that one, but not me, cause I'm smart).
• Spare batteries.
• Oil for the hurricane lamps.
• Oh, and a Hurricane lamp!
• And probably some other odds and ends.

Anyways, this is my plan. Also, I'm working on my food storage. It's a bit of a pain in the butt, however, the prophet said to do it, and last time I checked, he was smarter than I am.

So, I'm doing it!

Anyways, I'll report on how that one turns out later.

Rawr

For the record, new computers are intersting.

They keep people busy.

On the flip side, I'm getting to take my computer to work again. I'm excited about that.

There you go Andrea... an update!

Ramblings from the heart

Okay, this has nothing to do with ACTUAL events, so Andrea, if you are reading this... please don't hit me.

I love you.

Okay, so, everyone should know by now that as I go about my day to day business, I have this sound track that plays in my head. 

Usually, it's not a big deal, but ocasionally if things get boring, I'll start playing music, or have a car chase, or some other good stuff happen in my brain. This one time... there was a hobbit born that had dragons for hands. Thats kinda off the topic, but meh.

Anyways... the soundtrack is usually just white noise with an occasional buh-dum-bump-do-do-di-dump. 

entertaining... right?

Well, andrea and I were talking today. Apparently open communication is the new thing and we're trying it. This is cool and all, but it means I have to do more and more tlaking, and it prevents me from doing any real good background noise in my head.

What does this mean? 

It means I have to come up with some really high quality background noise for when I get the opportunity to do it.

So, it goes a lot like this.

A: Garen, we need to talk.

G: fffssshhhhhhh.......ssssshhhhhh.... click.... ssshhhhhhhhh..

A: GAREN!

G: Huh... uh.. What?

A: You weren't listening. 

G: Yes I was.

A: What was I saying? 

G: (Crap... I wasn't listening.. .think of something quick)

Garens Brain: Uhm.... ASPARAGUS!

G: Asparagus!

A: What?

Garens Brain: Slam Dunk! She'll never expect a thing!

G: So, whats up?

A: We need to talk more.

G: I agree

A: So, I was thinki....ffffssshhhhhhh.....sssshhhhh...click......grrrrgggrrr...sssshhhhh (This is about the point the cool stuff happens)

[The following takes place inside garen's head]

The Admiral: Garen, Sir, we have a problem.

G: What is it admiral?

The Admiral: Sir, the fire ants have built up a... WHAT THE?

G: Don't mind my bulging muscles admiral, they are impressive, but not too impressive as to be worth showing off.... like this  (/flex)

Andrea: GAREN! 

G: huh?

A: So? Can I?

G: Aboslutly. I totally agree.

A: Good.

This is merely a snippit of how my brain works.

At one point, I'll probably be fiddling with a garbage can lid, or a paperclip, or chasing a bird. I'm never quite sure.

But in the long run, I get a hug, she smiles and goes to wal-mart to buy something. We're all happy, hayden gets a drink, and I put lillie in bed so I can sit on the couch and stare at the ceiling fan. (I love that thing).

Anyways, we're talking more. Discussing things that normal people don't talk about. And in the long run, we're doing better. And this makes me remeber why I love my wife so much.

Also, it was a good chance to explain how I met Grover Cleaveland. See? Be like me? Meet a dead president.

Always a plus.  ;)

Laters.

Where Does The Time Go?

Oh man have I been busy, and it seems I've accomplished nothing! However my laptop should arrive today or tomorrow and I am quite excited for that. I finished two hats, one for Lillie and one for Hayden. I've started one for myself using that furry yarn. It looks cool but is a royal pain in the butt to use. However, I'm excited to see how it turns out. I also have been working on some quilts, but it has taken a back seat as husband has stolen my sewing machine and took it to work with him. Who knew there'd ever be a husband and a wife who fought over use of the sewing machine, huh? But we do!

So I also ordered a laptop table so I don't have to have this desk out in the living room anymore. It's a decent table I ordered from Walmart.com, but the shipping cost just as much as the table did! Oh well, I tried to find one on the island and couldn't, so whatcha gonna do? Finally I also ordered a pretty little corset from Hips and Curves.com. Why did I do that? Because I've lost 37lbs so far and I wanted to reward myself and feel pretty! Not to mention I'm sure husband will love it.

I've got lots of schoolwork to be doing though, so I guess I'll be off to do that now. Until next time!

Just A Day

We really didn't do much. I made a baby hat last night for the www.savethechildren.org drive Knit One, Save One. However I don't think it turned out good enough so I will do another. Today though I ended up standing out side for two hours talking to my neighbor today, and while I was only a wall away from the kids I felt terrible that they were alone in the living room for that long. They however, seemed unbothered.

Garen ended up with some early liberty today, which I am ALWAYS greatful for. He even picked up the living room and ran some dishes. I am a very lucky girl. He also made me a nice chicken stir fry dinner, and it was tasty.

I really spent most of the day sitting around. I am feeling much better, but I think I still needed a day of blah or something, because I didn't want to move much. Lillie is suddenly becoming difficult. She is being demanding of attention, and hitting her brother. Hayden so far just kinda takes the beating, and will cry for her to stop. I'm waiting for the day he pops her back, and I don't intend to punish him. I keep warning her he might hit her back someday, but I'd never encourage him to. I'm actually fairly sure he never will... He's just too emotionally aware of others and how it would hurt them.

I had my parent teacher conference for Hayden yesterday. I find that so weird to do. I've been helping him with homework and such at home and sending it with him every day, and he turns it in fine, but he is FAILING at school still, because he is refusing to do the work the teacher tells him to! I'm not sure what to do about that? I've told him since meeting with her he needs to do as she says, but I don't know if that is going to work.

I also supported the school with their book drive. I bought forty dollars worth of books. I hope it helps. I got one that looks intresting for me, called "Confessions of a Slacker Mom". Maybe I'll feel better about myself after that one ^.^

I have so many things I want to get done. I realize I've become terrible unmotivated and I don't accomplish much. I need to do something. I'm just not sure what that something is. I hope I find it soon though. Either way, it's getting late and I would like some quiet time with hubby.

Having three chevrons never meant that much apparently....

I've been in the Coast guard for 6 years now. I love my job. I've been in awesome places and not awesome places. I've had good supervisors and not good supervisors. Regardless of the situation, I've always done my best to keep a chin up to the situation and enjoy what I do.

Well, 4 years ago I got promoted to IT3 (E-4). Not a big deal to some but it was big to me. I was a petty officer now. I did my job. I was a subject matter expert. I was better than a non-rate now. I was excited. Well, E-4's arent that impressive when lined up to non rates unfortunetly. Anyways, I had this IT1 who became my chief. I worked for him for a good while.

I got promoted to IT2 (The hotel manager called and told me to stop hooting and hollering when I found out I was getting promoted. It was funny)

Anyways, I promoted. Now I was excited about this and I did my job awesome. I still worked with a bunch of thirds and we did good work.

Fast forward a year. I get promoted again. (Kinda lackluster, but exciting)

Anyways, the line between Second and First is a big deal. Well, I was still working with the same chief and the same thirds (One of them now a second). 

So far, the story is kinda lame. But it all boils down to this. 

ANDREA MADE SENSE TODAY! 

Seriously... she really needs to stop doing that.

Apparently, I'm not being respected as a first and that's frustrating. Well, it's supposedly being fixed in the shop, and people are starting to call me IT1 instead of Garen. Andrea is saying I'm going to be VERY excited about the newfound "Respect"... but im not sure.

The Chiefs are saying the same thing, but again, im really not sure.

The next few months are going to be interesting because im going to experience some things that I haven't experienced before and they are supposedly good... so we'll see what happens.

No, it's not funny.

It's not entertaining.

And it probably didn't make any sense. 

But, thats kinda the thoughts that were in my head. 

And now... the world can read them.

P.S.

If you work for me, you shouldnt be reading this.

Also... I made someone cry yesterday. Is it bad that I'm smiling over that?

Feeling a Little Bit Better

So my fever got pretty high, and I was miserable the entire day yesterday. But Garen did everything he could to help me out. We had an appointment with a consulor yesterday that I think went really well. I'm fairly confident it will help us. After that Garen stayed home to take care of me. I was able to take a nap while he picked up Hayden from school.

He took the kids to Walmart to pick out some gifts. Garen got me a pretty and simple ring, and Hayden got me the movie Sex and the City. Lillie got herself some crocs, but I can forgive her for being a shoe kinda gal.

Garen also insisted that I go out to dinner as planned, and by then, my fever was starting to come down. I hadn't eaten in two days so I was starving. So once the babysitter arrived we went off to dinner.... that I didn't really eat. But it's the fact that he tried.

My old friend from high school called to wish me a Happy Birthday. I hadn't heard from Ryan in a long time, and the fact that he remembered my birthday amazed me. It was really nice to hear from him again.

Finally I came home to flowers. They are pretty purple Lilacs. My hubby is so wonderful and I appreciate everything he did for me to make my day special, even though I was sick.

Open faced palm slaps hurt.... alot....

Okay... I had to check my work e-mail. Nothing fantastic yet.

I couldnt do it from home. Crap?

I know... Where is my RAS token? Hmm, good question.

IT'S AT THE OFFICE! hopefully?

garen: "ANDREA! I'm running to the office... I'll be right back"

andrea: "Take the kids with you"

garen: "CRAP ON A STICK!"

Okay, so I load the kids in the car. We motor to the office and we go inside. I look on my desk. I check the e-mail. I load the kids in the car. I check the office door to make sure it's locked. Nope, not locked... I better fix that. (Garen locks the door and pulls it shut... smiling at being responsible and doing a good job)

I get in the car. I tell hayden to put on his seatbelt so we can go home.

Keys

Keys keys keys.

WHERE THE HELL DID THE KEYS GO?

Apparently, I left them on my desk. 

No problem, I'll go back in and get them.

but wait... Smart, responsible, good job doing GAREN locked the door.

CRAP ON A STICK!

So, I call the OOD, I ask for the master keys. Well, after a 45 minute wait, he says he will be right down. Allright, we're getting somewhere now.

Well, at this point, hayden is standing in the back of our little flatbed electric car and being a pain. So I start to play with him. I was messing with his elbows and telling him to stop hitting himself as I whacked him in the head with his own hands. He apparently thought it was mildly funny.

Well, about 15 seconds in to this, I decided to throw him for a loop and whacked ME in the head with his hand. He laughed riotously. It was good. Well, after that, he took his hands back and started to slap me in the head. Well, being the AWESOME dad that I am, I hit him back. so, it "evolved". 

About 30 seconds later, the OOD showed up only to see a 5 year old and a full grown adult in an all out slap fight giggling at each other and laughing so hard that we are both drooling.

Hayden apparently thought the same thing I was thinking "Oh crap... we're busted".

His hands stuck to his side, mine did the same. We're both trying out hardest to not laugh.

The OOD let us in. I got the keys. We went home. All in all... very uneventful. But... it was good for a laugh.

Pointless? Yes.

Fun?  hoo boy.. yeah it was.