Sitting at work... and thinking

So, I'm sitting at work and just chilling right now. It's lunch time. The sun is shining in my window by my desk really brightly. While Ketchikan is a cloudy town, and the sun is nice to see, because of where I sit in the office, it hurts my eyes. I would honestly be okay with a cloudy day, or a little less sun. It makes my desk hot, and since there isn't much air circulation in here, it gets old, fast!

Anyways, I'm getting a little sick. Stuffy nose, congested and all. I can do without that. 

I'm still using the patches on my shoulder to get over my habit, and it's giving me some crazy side affects. I dream REALLY REALLY intensely.

Last night I dreamed that I was buying a house. Then I dreamed that I was taking Lillie and Hayden home from the airport, but we had to walk along the runway that was in the middle of a field when some guy stole my laptop and I got in a fight with him. I'm waking up every two hours. It's like I wake up at the end of a movie and go back to sleep to start the next one. Last night, I dreamed that I left hayden outside while I was stuck in an elevator for 2 hours throwing a party. When I got out of the elevator, he was standing in the rain looking around like he was lost and crying. I got out of bed and laid down next to him in his. I held him and hugged him almost 30 minutes. I felt like a bad dad, even though I know it was just a dream. That kind of thing is hard for me to deal with. I love my kids immensely, and the thought of doing something that would intentionally or willfully hurt them just tears me up.

5 years ago, I couldn't have cared less, but now, I know the pain that being a parent can bring. BUT, I know the joys as well. Honestly, I like the joy side better.

I took hayden and lillie to hayden's school last night. He performed in a christmas show. He sang three songs with his class. I smiled the whole time. He's a good kid. I hope I'm being nice enough to him.

So, Andrea and I contended warmly last night about me "assuming that I knew what she was thinking". While I still maintain that I was RIGHT... I have decided to open it up a little and give her a taste of what she's asking for. I figure, if she wants to know what I'm thinking, then I'll let her know. She should be able to figure out what I mean by that on her own. But she wanted it, so she'll get it.

We transfer out of this town in a few months. I know that I submitted my dream sheet a few weeks back, but I haven't heard from the detailer yet. I still don't know where we're going to be headed yet. I hope he contacts me soon. I really want off this rock and to go somewhere new. I think that my time here is starting to get to me. I find myself caring less and less about my job and I'm ready to just leave.

Soon Garen.... Soon!

So, those are my current thoughts.